Monday, July 28, 2008

The New Adventures Of Old Darion

I'm HOME!!!!! As you all probably know, you can take the boy out of Oregon, but the Oregon doesn't really leave the boy so easily. I've made it back home to Ma and Pa's place and it's been a great trip so far! After landing on Friday we saw Kung Fu Panda which was really cute.

Arriving at home it looked as though the new signs dad put up are keeping folks out:That, or maybe it's Bast, the vicious man-eating wolf dog. Hmm. :D
Challenging Bast for the title of Cute Overload Pet is Flash/Crack Baby (name TBD, he's insane though). He's like the cutest and most hyper kitten.... ever. He's basically a walking youtube video. He walks down the street, and people get kicked in the balls. Supermodels fall on their face. It's great!
"Hey who's that sexy stud in the reflection? Hey there buddy!"
"He looks like a savage hunter... are those tiger stripes? Uncle?"
"What is this shiny silver thing you are sticking in my face? Can I eat it? Scratch it? Then I don't care."
"Cleanliness is next to Godliness, stinky human."
"I'm sorry wot? No, no more photos please. I'm bashful!"
The view from the deck is always nice!! Notice the: 1) Lack of smog, 2) Lack of cement, 3) Lack of people, 4) Lack of sirens. Well you can't hear this but.... yeah, I know, not everyone can have the Five Star view of a towing company and cabinet maker my apartment has, but we can't all live in luxury.

Ready for more Cute Overload? Well Bast got a new toy on my trip here...
She killed it good!
I think she's doing Stalker Eyes(TM) here. Sorry Ang, you have real competition.
"DIE GREEN THING! RAWR!"

Here's a cute video showcasing her deathly talents. She pretty much makes that centipede toy her bitch. FUN!
Seeing all this cuteness tends to make one a little crazy:
I insisted to Mom I was Zero, the new chosen King of Cokes, and that I demanded a sacrifice.
Next we walked down to the woods to see Mom's new gazebo....
It's not finished but it's quite purty and fancy!! :) Fun. She's wanted one since she was 23. That's like.... uhm... this many years ago (raises hands).
Woods = nice. You can even see stars at night! I kept looking for the smog layer...
I won't mention the homecooked food much, but I've been... eating. Pretty much nonstop. This isn't a videoblog because my shirt is covered in crumbs. Organic, whole grain from the garden crumbs.
All the other kitties are on strike (they have like 20 or something). They hate the new babykitty! :(

Next it was on to the... hold on to your pants... DRAIN COUNTY FAIR!!! YEEEE HAWWWW!
Covered wagons. That's.... all we got.
Just to remind me of the uhm, locals, I saw this truck and Good Ol Boy (TM) complete with four wheeler in the back. Lovely.
Yeah, the fair was HOPPIN! All 30 residents of town came out. ;)
Nothing like the musical stylings of "Flashbak" to make me forget Coldplay. :D
Fried fair food = good.
Bolemia caused by extreme guilt = notsogood.
Mom's been doing a LOT of weights lately. I suppose it's a new direction.
Dad's running for political office! Yay!
What fair is complete without a pole climbing contest? Yessirreeee, not one in Drain! WOOT!
The covered bridge is nice. And restored. And full of Marlboro's and 40's. ;)
Dad won at the 4H coin toss!
I won this incredibly ugly striped LSD fish! Is it there? Is it not? You may never know!
Winnie, the prized pig with her 12 piglets. Mmmmhhh, if only I ate bacon....
Mom of course danced. Dance OFF!
Fun times had by all, Drain Fair style!
Oh yes, we met this fellow getting ice cream. Ready to visit Drain yet? I shall call him.... Abe.
One of the downsides of mom and dad's great cooking: the insane piles of dishes. "Seriously?"
"FRAAKKKK!"

Sunday we went down to visit Damien and took the scenic route, which had lots of history on how the railroads in Oregon were built and how over 100,000 Chinese came in to help build it. Sad history as in the 1800's all people were NOT treated equally.
The country was gorgeous tho!
These folks were mining for gold.... yes, real life gold panners in the 'crik'. Up and down the crik they looked for shiny stuff (and drank Hamm's).

One of the funny things about Oregon: Beautiful country, notsomuch to do. So, lots of drinking, lots of shooting things.
To be fair tho, that bathroom sign had it coming.
This railroad crossing sign also had it coming, with it's stupid shape, and uhm... color.
Someone put a sign on here that said "dirty tree huggin' hippies want to take your guns! Inside here!"
Nothing like a riverside picnic filled with lots of tasty stuff. :)
Beautiful country!
We stopped and checked out a cool bridge...
It was connected to this freaky tunnel that felt... hmmm... Cloverfield meets Bone Collector.
1905 it says at the top there.
Mom posed for a photo and this weird ghosty spirity thing appeared above her (in 2 photos) and wasn't in mine. I deduced it was probably a whore from the 1800's hanging around cuz she hadn't been paid yet by some of the rail workers. You know it happened, people. I saw Deadwood!
"Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiittttttttt."
The 1800's hooker overtook mom for a brief second and yelled "Bitch betta have my moneyyy!". Maybe it was an 1800's pimp?

We stopped briefly at Wolf Creek Inn that was home to Clark Gables - his hideaway for some time in the early party of the 20th century.
Jack London's room was cool, he wrote some of his books here:
See, authors and actors heart Oregon! Mom found a phone and made some calls:
It didn't work for me. Stupid Sprint.

If Elizabeth Taylor likes the bread, I'm in!
Betcha haven't seen that in LA!! Cabins on the highway...

Today (Monday) we all went whitewater rafting on Hellgate Jetboat Tours in Grants Pass Oregon, which was a total blast!
See us here dry. It didn't last.
This was right after a giant tidal wave dumped about 30 gallons of water ON MY FREAKING FACE. I was soaked to the bone! :D
We were a loud, rowdy bunch!
Mom got SOAKED. :D hahaha
I don't think there's a prettier place to raft! We saw TONS of wildlife, like bald eagles, ospreys, deer, turtles, etc.
Hellgate Canyon!

"It's the end of a superlong post Kitty! But you got a nice intro!"
"Shut yer trap wolfie, you may have 60 pounds on me but I have claws!"

Have a few more days at home before I head back to Hell-Ay... :) It's been great as always hanging with the fam!