Sunday, December 28, 2008

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Callahan's Lodge in Oregon is gorgeous! Having fun in Oregon!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Oregondog Millionaire - Xmas in Oregon 2008 Part 1

Tuesday I braved the airports, insane lines, grumpy people, and bad weather to venture from LA to Oregon to see mi familia. LA was sunny and 65 when I left...
Those crazy Baywatch chicks were still running, hoping their show gets picked up again...
Run Yasmin, Run from obscurity! Ahem...
I traveled through the clouds - it was sunny up there! So purdy.
Then... then there was Seattle. Cold. Dark. Gloomy. It felt like London, but with better teeth.
;) j/k

After a few hours of delays, and getting out before the new storm came in, I made it HOME! Dad was tired and crashed, so Mom and I started taking silly photos...
Mom welcomed me as the Christmas Fairy, the character she entertains all the kids in Drain at every year for their annual Christmas party.
Mom has an imaginary staff of elves, represented by the hats and stockings.
What's sad is, she really did have a staff of little people, however, with the sinking economy she had to let them all go. She still talks to them every day....
Which I admit, is somewhat addictive. I yelled at them, but how else are we going to bring profits back up 30%? DAMMIT WILSON GET OFF THE BLACKBERRY WHEN I'M TALKING!
Awww. :) The tree looks great this year!
I'm so excited for Grayson, my new lil nephew to arrive! I borrowed his chair.

One thing you may not know about Mom....
It's always 5:00 somewhere! Note the two-tone stocking. Xmas fashion, ya'll!

Me and the lil Tibetan statue, Molly, had a few drinks by the tree.
Mom like to pretend she's a Christmas present and hide underneath the tree. (After a few bottles of Lil' Baby Jesus Juice)

Mom also had some of the best glasses EVER she tried on:
Wow. Not to be outdone...
Zoolander, ya'll!

However, when mom asked me to take a photo, I ended up taking some video and created a priceless internet phenom now known as: XMAS FAIRY MODELS GLASSES. Please watch, re-watch, and ask how I kept from bursting into teary laughter... I DON'T KNOW.
Happy Holidays ya'll!!

Friday, December 12, 2008

Sponsor an Executive

TEARS! Please help these poor souls.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Selma, Sigourney, Charity, And An Open Bar. RUH ROH!

Well this weekend was kind of ridiculously fun! I had a blast hanging out with great friends, which I really needed given what's been going on lately. Tonight was especially amazing, I headed to The Trevor Project's Cracked Xmas, a charity benefit at The Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles.
The Trevor Project is an amazing charity that runs the nation's only suicide hotline for LGBTQ youth. Sadly, an LGBTQ youth is FOUR times more likely to commit suicide then their straight counterpart. Also, suicide is the THIRD highest cause of death in teens. They run a great service and it was fantastic to support a good cause. The party also happens to be INSANELY FUN!!

There was of course a red carpet:

Selma Blair, star of Hellboy, Cruel Intentions, etc etc, and now Kath and Kim, came to show her support along with her TV Husband Mikey Day!
"Well I'm here for two reasons, Barbara. First, charity. Secondly, I'm really excited to finally meet Darion."
My hearing is great. Hi Selma! XOXO

I of course granted her wish... I'm nice to all the fans.
ZOMG she's like one of the nicest celebs ever. Not to mention INSANELY pretty. The picture doesn't do her justice! I told her what a big fan of hers I was - seriously, since Cruel Intentions and Zoe/Duncan/Jack and Jane (WB show from 10 years ago), and she was like "awww you are so sweet! Thanks for coming.". I sorta died. But after the paramedics revived me, it was all good!

With Chad (left) and Loy (center) and dork (right). Big thanks to Loy for passing the invite along to me and telling me what a fun event it was! :)
The show started with the cast of Spring Awakening singing a few songs. They sounded great!
Selma and Mikey came on stage to talk about The Trevor Project. At this point I shouldddd mention there was an open bar. Soooo ... let's just say there was a lot of chatter. ;)
I LOVE YOU SELMAAAAAA!*
*I didn't shout that so much as bellow it.
Wanda Sykes came out and performed a hilarious set - she had us cracking up! Wanda talked a bit about prop 8 and how it really upset her and her wife of FOURTEEN years, and did a hilarious bit about Esther - her gut, who fights with her Spanx underwear. Apparently, Esther really likes cheesecake, and hates Spanx, and tries to break free. Hahaha
Apparently Esther broke free of her Spanx when she was on The Tonight Show. :)

Brooke Smith, AKA the lesbian doctor on Grey's Anatomy came out and spoke for a bit.

Can't remember what about. Honestly, a bunch of music came on while she was talking like a Grey's montage, and I spaced out, cried a little, and then changed the channel to watch Heroes.
Rachel Zoe and her assistant... uhm... well I called him "15 minutes", cuz he don't deserve that fame ya'll, came out to stand there like zombies while the blonde chick on the right auctioned off a bunch of stuff for the charity. It was great because they raised a TON of money. Rachel Zoe seemed super uncomfortable - especially for a tv personality - was really quiet and only said a few words. SOMEONE forgot to mix their uppers with their downers!!! Oh Rachel, you are my favorite amateur.
LOOK KIDS! It's Anne Hathaway! She came out early during the auction, to auction HERSELF! She said "I didn't realize there was going to be an auction tonight. So I figured I'd come out and sell myself. However much you think I'm worth, I'll take you out and get you WASTED." :D
So funny! Homegirl went for $12,000!
Sarah Chalke came out and gave a great speech. I heart her! She's so funny. She's also in the hilarious funny Prop 8: The Musical sketch. She's great on How I Met Your Mother and of course Scrubs!
XOXO Sarah!

Next up Fantasia Barrino came out to ROCK the freaking house. Dayumn! Girl. Can. Sing.
Seriously, GREAT voice. No lipsyncing here!
She also ended up singing her songs in the crowd! She did one of her own and Purple Rain. It was great to see her really work the crowd and get people all into it.

Next up Lesley Jordan came out with a hilarious story of growing up with a highly conservative family in Tennesee and of course opened with "I smell gin and regret. Is that you Karen Walker?" - one of his famous lines from Will and Grace. He was great!
At the end Anne came out and gave a speech about Sigourney Weaver - she was there to give her a Trevor Life Honoree award! They previewed Sigourney's new Lifetime movie based on a true story, Prayers For Bobby, about a highly religious mother who's son comes out to her and ends up killing himself. It looks amazing and she gives quite the performance.
Sigourney and Anne hug. Somewhere, a geek's head explodes.

... It's all right, I'm okay, move along people, nothing to see hereeeeee.
Sigourney talked about working on the movie (that took 13 years to get greenlit), meeting the family, and talked about how if Trevor Project had been around when Bobby was alive he probably wouldn't have comitted suicide. Sad.
Don't cry, Sigourney! WE LOVE YOU!*
*I may or may not have yelled this. Did I mention the open bar?
Her speech was amazing and of course garnered a standing ovation!
Our seats were high up, but it was still a great vantage point. Aaaah, my nose is bleeding! ;)
Sadly, that was the end of the show, but one thing wasn't complete:
OK, kids, I'm not kidding. We were by the bar (go figure), I saw her walk in - she's like 6'3" in heels, and I got kinda :O feeling. So I literally jogged over, politely said hi and asked her for a photo. She graciously accepted and I told her she was one of my favorite actresses ever and thanked her so much for being here. She smiled warmly and said "My pleasure!" and we may have ... had a moment. I ran back to the gang and my heart was POUNDING, my hands were even shaking.
I know, I'm a geek, but dude, it's RIPLEY! I'm just glad I was able to talk to her without blacking out. :)

After the super fun night, it was off to get pizza and then hit a bar or two before calling it a night with the gang:
We had such a great time! I'm truly blessed to have so many amazing friends! Funfunfun!
Makes me think... how the hell am I going to top this next? ;)

Friday, November 28, 2008

Sober - Pink [ Official Real New Video ] [Funhouse]

OMFG I love Pink! The new album is great. She always does cool videos too!

Monday, October 27, 2008

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Halloween with Jamy Winehouse

WOW. I had so much fun last night, it probably should have been illegal. I have been working on my costume for Halloween 2008 for a bit, trying to think of something cool.... and I did! I channeled Jamy Winehouse, Amy's fictional but equally cracked out and insane brother. I donned full rocker gear and a very crazy british accent, which I'm proud to say I kept up the WHOLE night! Whew! OK there's a lot of goodness to share... so let's get on with the pics!
We started the festivities at Brian's pad, and helped him assemble letters:
He was amazingly creative in his role as a mailman, and actually had letters made up for various costume types, so when he ran into people he could give them a letter! lol! My friends rule - From left to right: Max, Dylan, Jamy, Brian Michael (BMMB), Brian

Sexy Jesus and Jamy posed for a photo op as well:
Yup! Straight to hell. Not passing Go, not getting $200.
Jesus harassed the cab driver on the way over. "You know I died for your sins, right?"... yeah it was so funny, we were cracking the hell up! Luckily the cab driver didn't kick us out. :) It made for a VERY entertaining ride though.

Next it was on to my friends Fred and Jason's house for their huge annual Halloweenie party! Open bar, and all the proceeds went to charity - what more can you ask for? This lady kept saying something about "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!". Heheh, us English folk are all crazy. Christ wafers, surprisingly, taste like chocolate. (Straight to hell, people, I'm not even kidding)

Now, republicans are few and far between in Los Angeles, but these nice folks did attend the party: They seemed nice. Slow, but nice. They sure do love their McCain and Palin!Holy Shots!!!
Fred, one of the hosts of the party, such a nice guy... Well, he's not really a guy at all, he's more of a... Centaur. Yeah, it's true. LA caters to everything! But I'm all for equal human/manimal rights.
Ol' Jesus and I ran into a bunch of friends from Oz: It's like we met the off-off-off-broadway version of Wicked. LOVES IT! This Dorothy had smokes in her hair. Clever girl! I don't know what's going on here. My jaw looks broken tho. Hawt. You can't see the large amount of coke that I had on my nose/face, but you can see my blood trail leakage from my nose. You know how those crazy rockstars love to OD! Oh this chick's carpet matched the drapes. I'M JUST SAYING. Come fly the friendly tranny skies! There were several Michael Phelps. Jamy's question to this fellow was:
"Daaahhling! You poor, poor thing. Is the economy that bad you can't afford any clothing? My sistah Amy would love you! She'd do a line right off yer face, mate!" Travis took a ball to the face. White Trash showed up! Who knew? There was an OPEN FREAKING BAR, people. Grace Kelly was surprisingly tall... and adam's apple-ish. Dorothy! You old bitch! LOVES IT! Elpheba and a lone monkey! I think the paparazzo caught me mid-vulgar-obscenity-laden sphiel here. "Turn off the fu**ing camera, man! Seriously, mate!"Brandon as the Home Depot guy and Tom as Dennis The Menace! Rado and Eric as leather dudes. You know, they seemed really comfortable with the costume. I'm just saying.... It was packed! This nurse was also checking out my armpits. ALL REAL, DAHLING! TAKE A WHIFF!There was a whole lotta banana present. Potassium FTW! Seriously, there were some old ass chicks there! Hi Keira Knightley! Tina Turner was aging well IMHO. BMMB & B and my famous EXTENDO-ARM self shot. WOO! Brandon and Sarah kept biting each other. They'd die, Jesus would ressurect them, I'd do a line of coke. It's a nasty cycle, this Halloween. When in costume, giving the finger and cursing constantly is fun - bc an English accent makes it all sound OK! I'm refined!This group ruled! Every time I walked by they'd yell JAMY! JAME WINEHOUSE! WE LOVE YOU! lolol :) Loves it! Two people asked me "how long I've lived here" bc they thought my accent was real. LOLOL I think this nurse just injected BMMB with something. Afterparty? lol And BMMB just lovesss to show off that stigmata. :P Of course, pimps were there... And I became BFF's with the sexy undead photog! CALL ME BABY! In other news, I've stopped eating.

Something magical did happen, fellows: I MET MY SISTAH AMY!! SHE'S OUTTA REHAB! "HELLOOOOO DAHLLINGGG! You look gorgeeoussssss!!!!" I just love love love that we had the same expression, makeup, and baggies of coke on us!"Go away Paparazzi! This is family time! Stay away from my sistah!! NOO, NOO, NOO!"Oh dear Amy... maybe we shouldn't have done that last baggie of angel dust... we're headed straight to the shittah, dahling!This poor doctor and his wife couldn't afford clothing! This economy is just awful when even a DOCTOR can't afford a shirt. Seriously people. His wife did oblige by biting me tho. I'm a lil undead now, mates! Buggah. Believe me when I say I left the party with clothespins in places I didn't know I had. Bettie Page and I posed it up for the cameras! But wait... MORE DOUGH EYED! MORE! YOU HATE ZE CAMERA! YOU ARE A KITTEN! ROWR!There we go. Purr. Thanks baby!
Now... LESS DOUGH EYED! Perfect! I think this may have been a chica from Hairspray. I'm not sure. I knew I'd run into Mario and Luigi!! Miss Universe was quite sweet! Plus she offered me a hit. So nice. SO NICE!"Christina Ricci? Sorry bout the tongue, baby. Have you met my sistah Amy? She'd do a line off your breasts, man. I'm not even joking."Joe the plumber lives!ROCK AND ROLLLLLLL DAHLINGS!!!! I think I threw up after this. Hopefully not on Jesus. His stigmata will act up....

Ahem. Well, I must say, it was deff one of my fav nights of the last few years... I had a blast, stayed in character, WORKED the party and talked to just about everyone... it's amazing how social barriers are blown away when everyone is dressed up! Funnily, the night ended as many do here in LA...
I got gang-spanked by a clothespin dominatrix, a busty cop, and Dorothy from Oz. Yeah, pretty standard.
I can't wait to bust out the now infamous Jamy Winehouse this Friday! WOO!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!